Kirk shooting video: Horrific content 'just the tip of the iceberg'

Warning: This story contains details of violence

• Online harm experts say video of the shooting of Charlie Kirk was confronting but it's just the tip of the iceberg
• Young people report seeing graphic and gruesome deaths, from killings in Gaza to suicides, popping up in their feeds on a daily basis

Video of the shooting of conservative influencer and Donald Trump ally Charlie Kirk shocked many when it was first shared last month - not only for its confronting content, but also its immediate virality.

News of Kirk's shooting at a Utah university rally in September broke here in Aotearoa on a midweek morning, quickly spreading across social media platforms during breakfast, and as people made their way to work and school.

Until his death, few New Zealanders had heard of Kirk - but their teenagers had, via his posts on TikTok and his hugely popular podcasts.

The footage of his dying moments was disturbing to many adults who saw it, yet arguably what became even more concerning was that many children - plenty of them at primary school - also saw it.

Aucklander Kerry* first heard about Charlie Kirk after his shooting, and asked her teenage sons, aged 17 and 14, whether they had seen the footage.

Both of them had. "One of my sons was shown it at school by another kid, and I'm not sure where the other one saw it. We had a chat about it because I heard that it was quite disturbing and graphic to watch.

"One of them said, it's like hardly the most violent thing that we see. I said, what is the most violent thing? What are you seeing that's on that level? And he wouldn't tell me, he said, you don't want to know."

Her son later told her the Kirk video was "pretty mild compared to other things he's seen... mostly the violence he sees is death, mostly people dying in car crashes, suicides, and then just general gore".

Kerry said her family has always had parental controls, open conversations about online content and rules about no devices in the bedroom.

"Despite all that, I know my kids are seeing these things. Both my boys say they see suicide content most days. They say that often it might be in a joking context, but it's still pretty horrific."

Meanwhile Kerry fears for her 11-year-old daughter who is already seeing eating disorder content popping up on social media. "I'm really not keen for her to see suicides."

'It's like Russian roulette'

Online harm experts agree Kirk's killing was confronting, but far more horrific content is "very rife" in kids' social media feeds.

Zareen Sheikh-Cope is a former investigation support officer on the Digital Safety Group at the Department of Internal Affairs (DIA), and a director of digital safety consultancy Our Kids Online, which she co-founded with her husband Rob Cope in 2018.

The group speaks to several hundred schools a year and "99 percent" had at least one story about students, some as young as four or five, being exposed to indecent content, sexually exploited or bullied online.

The heightened awareness of New Zealand parents following the Kirk shooting was "interesting", given the Christchurch mosque shootings in 2019, "a mass shooting of multiple people", were livestreamed, she said.

Tamariki and rangatahi were frequently seeing "mass shootings, executions, torture of humans and animals, terrorist and violent extremism content, gore, child sexual exploitation and adult sexual exploitation... it's like Russian roulette."

New Zealand agencies were also aware of at least two groups targeting minors and exposing them to that sort of content, as well as extorting them into "recording self harm, sexually explicitly acts, hurting their pets and maybe their siblings".

Public speaker and educator Richie Hardcore said the Kirk shooting was a "wake-up call" to New Zealand parents, but the issue has been "well embedded" long before this.

Hardcore, who has been talking in schools about healthy masculinity and domestic and sexual violence prevention since 2017, said he had spoken to "numerous" teenagers about seeing beheadings and other violent deaths online. "They can never get it out of their head".

Prior to speaking to RNZ, Hardcore polled a group of 14 teenage boys and young men who he worked with, from a wide range of backgrounds, about what they were seeing online.

Thirteen out of 14 had seen the Kirk assassination, while half of them had seen graphic war footage from Gaza. Eleven of the 14 had seen the 2019 Christchurch mosque killings livestreamed (when they were children or young teenagers). All of them had seen drone killings from Ukraine, and beheadings by ISIS killings and Mexican cartels.

"I said 'how does this make you feel'? One lovely young man, who's 15, said 'the first time you see it, it's the most awful thing you'll ever see, but then it becomes normal'. There is so much of it out there, that, in their own words, they have become desensitised to it."

Many adults never saw this content - but thanks to algorithms, for our rangatahi and tamariki, there was no respite, with it mixed among videos posted by their friends and family.

"Our kids are swimming in this all of the time and it's a minefield. It's someone's cat, then my friend at a party, my friend dancing, click a couple of other videos that look interesting and all of a sudden you're watching babies in Gaza being set on fire."

RNZ recently reported on TikTok's algorithms, by setting up four teenage accounts on four phones on factory settings.

Hardcore said parents needed to be more aware, but ultimately the tech companies required "hard legislation" to hold them accountable for hosting this content.

"It astounds me anyone would think it's solely the parents' responsibility to enforce their kids aren't exposed to that because it's just not possible. Unless you chain your child to a bedpost and never let them leave the house without any sort of device, it's highly likely they're not going to be exposed to something distressing."

Sheikh-Cope agreed. "We don't allow someone who's 12, for example, to go into an R18 movie at the cinema, but a five-year-old could be exposed to horrendous content, like beheadings, torture and rape."

Parents could not solve the issue alone, added Kerry. "One of my sons sees the most homophobic, disgusting, racist content. If people actually sat down and looked at it, they'd be horrified that this is what [teenagers] are watching for hours and hours every day. Parents need support because what's happening is unacceptable."

Her son's values were shifting because of that content, she added.

"We can't compete with something that he's seeing and experiencing with his friends hours and hours every day, by having a few conversations with him, or even if there were a couple of digital literacy classes in school. We can't shift it with him, we've tried."

Kerry feared for her daughter too, after it emerged boys at her intermediate school were watching violent pornography. All three of her children had been shown porn by other children while at primary and intermediate. "I worry about her being strangled in her first sexual encounter. It's not what she's seeing, but what society's seeing. It's a public health issue that we have to do something about."

'This is not about censorship'

Both Sheikh-Cope and youth health researcher Dr Sam Marsh spoke at this month's government inquiry into online harm.

Marsh said evidence of the impact on youth well-being was becoming ever clearer, and she was bemused at the amount of "pushback" and accusations of "moral panic" there was to the suggestion of increasing the age of access to social media.

"I think the opposite is controversial, where we've got people seeing all this harm, and yet we're desperate to keep our children on these platforms."

Saying social media's benefits outweighed the harms was no longer good enough, Marsh added. "You could make the same argument for tobacco, that it's a great way to keep weight off, and helps reduce stress. But you have to look at these things on balance. If social media's benefits were outweighing the harms we wouldn't see those consistently poor outcomes in kids."

In her submission, Sheikh-Cope recommended filtered internet access as a default for under 18s, and in public places. "This is not about censorship, it's about creating digital boundaries that reflect the same duty of care we apply off-line."

'It is very bad but it's not too late'

Education Minister Erica Stanford, who is leading the government's work on the social media ban, has told RNZ she is considering all the options to reduce the harms that children face online.

Meanwhile Australia's world-first social media ban for children under 16 is set to roll out in December and, just this month, Denmark announced plans to ban social media for children under the age of 15.

What about the current generation of young people? Hardcore said he "feared" for the long-term impacts on this generation.

"Obviously I have a skewed view [but] our young people are increasingly disembodied. We've stolen their innocence, giving them unfettered access to so much information that one is humanly possible of processing, particularly traumatic content. No 11-year-old should watch someone's throat explode."

Sheikh-Cope said she worried that "desensitisation equals dehumanisation...when we have a lack of empathy it creates a new discourse without our whole society. For me, that means intolerance, hate, anger, violence and apathy".

Marsh said there was "still plenty" parents of older teenagers and young adults could do. "Their brains are still plastic and we can still be supporting them."

It was "not all doom and gloom", added Sheikh-Cope. "If we can turn the tide... even doing simple things like filters and no devices really help. It is very bad but it's not too late. We have the ability to turn things around, if we can be brave enough to do something."

*Name has been changed to protect the privacy of her children

Where to get help:

• Need to Talk? Free call or text 1737 any time to speak to a trained counsellor, for any reason
• Lifeline: 0800 543 354 or text HELP to 4357
• Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0508 828 865 / 0508 TAUTOKO. This is a service for people who may be thinking about suicide, or those who are concerned about family or friends
• Depression Helpline: 0800 111 757 or text 4202
• Samaritans: 0800 726 666
• Youthline: 0800 376 633 or text 234 or email talk@youthline.co.nz
• What's Up: 0800 WHATSUP / 0800 9428 787. This is free counselling for 5 to 19-year-olds
• Asian Family Services: 0800 862 342 or text 832. Languages spoken: Mandarin, Cantonese, Korean, Vietnamese, Thai, Japanese, Hindi, and English.
• Rural Support Trust Helpline: 0800 787 254
• Healthline: 0800 611 116
• Rainbow Youth: (09) 376 4155
• OUTLine: 0800 688 5463
• Aoake te Rā bereaved by suicide service: or call 0800 000 053

If it is an emergency and you feel like you or someone else is at risk, call 111.