Former member Gideon Benjamin. Photo: Supplied
Gloriavale's public offer to personally apologise to victims of abuse at the Christian community has been exposed as a PR stunt after leaders refused to say sorry, former members say.
Leavers have shared details of email exchanges between former member Gideon Benjamin, Gloriavale servant Peter Righteous and lawyers with RNZ, showing Benjamin's request for an apology was rejected because he would not meet in secrecy.
In January, Gloriavale's Overseeing Shepherd Howard Temple delivered a public apology on behalf of the church for abuse at the community between 1950 and 1999, following a Royal Commission of Inquiry recommendation last July.
"We offer our deepest apologies that abuse had occurred in this time period," Temple said.
"We invite victims to request a personal apology from the leadership on behalf of the church for not reporting known cases of abuse to appropriate authorities."
Benjamin wrote to Gloriavale's leaders the same day requesting a personal apology for allowing his father, who was jailed last year, to "abuse people for 30 years and not getting him the help that he needed" or dealing with him appropriately.
When he did not receive a response to repeated emails, Benjamin threatened to visit Gloriavale to verbally demand an apology.
Righteous then replied, warning any trip would be pointless because he was suing current community members.
"The path forward is not going to be assisted by you turning up in our community seeking an apology in respect to your father," he wrote.
"In your case, you have active proceedings against the leaders making very serious allegations against us. We are not therefore prepared to meet with you on any terms, much less to discuss issues that are directly raised by you in your claim against us."
Benjamin was a plaintiff in a multi-million-dollar class action lawsuit filed against Gloriavale and five government agencies by former members who claimed they were held as slaves from birth by the community's leaders.
Benjamin's lawyer then requested an apology on his behalf - in private - with the offer of a confidentiality agreement.
Gloriavale agreed to a meeting with Temple, proposing that "they each agree they will not disclose or discuss with any person or entity (other than those present) any content of the meeting, including any personal details, responses, acknowledgements or outcomes".
Benjamin sought amendments that would allow him to tell current and former members that he had received an apology from the leadership, although the details were to remain confidential.
"Gideon's position is Howard's apology was made public so why should the fact he received/did not receive an apology be kept secret," an email said.
However, Benjamin's request was ultimately rejected in a final email last month; "The terms counter proposed for the meeting are not acceptable to our client. The meeting with Gideon will therefore not proceed".
Gloriavale Christian Community on the West Coast, taken when it was visited by the Employment Court's chief judge on 25 February 2023. Photo: RNZ / Jean Edwards
Benjamin, 26, was born into Gloriavale but left in March 2023.
When approached for comment, the father-of-four told RNZ he gave the leaders every chance to keep their word.
"I wanted to be able to say that I gave them every opportunity. It was pretty insane, the lengths I went to. Most people probably would have given up. I felt like it a few times," he said.
"If they had been totally different and showed a true heart of repentance, that would have quite honestly shaken my brain. It would have been mind-blowing. Really all they did was just prove me right. They haven't changed.
"It's just called them out as liars."
Benjamin said he could not accept an apology in secret.
"I want the truth to be heard, that's all. For so long there have been too many secrets, cover-ups, things just swept under the carpet. I've had enough of secrets," he said.
Benjamin had planned to offer leaders his forgiveness at the end of the meeting, although he said that did not mean he would abandon court proceedings.
"I was going to tell them that I forgive them, that the Christian thing for me to do was to forgive," he said.
"I can forgive them but I won't stand by and allow wrong to keep happening. It's my job as a human being and as a Christian to stand up for what's right and that doesn't interfere with forgiveness."
Gloriavale did not respond to RNZ's request for comment.
Former Gloriavale member Virginia Courage said the leaders' response showed their offer was not genuine.
"It just looks to me like they were doing another PR stunt. What are you trying to do to this person, traumatise them more?" she said.
"An apology is something that's given freely. The acknowledgement and them taking responsibility is what will actually show leavers that Gloriavale has changed and that Gloriavale might be safe for the rest of our families inside.
"A real apology isn't just words, it's what comes after those words. If the apology was backed up by action, they would stop fighting in court."
Another Gloriavale leaver, who wished to remain anonymous, described the leaders' offer as a "box-ticking exercise" with a "nonsense" confidentiality agreement seemingly designed to protect them in court.
"You don't ask someone to come to you. You know that these people are upset, you go, you find them," she said.
Gloriavale Leavers' Support Trust manager Liz Gregory said decisions about apologies were personal matters for leavers.
Last July, the government was urged to do everything it could to ensure the safety of Gloriavale members and their children as a result of Royal Commission findings that leaders allowed physical and sexual abuse at the community.
The Abuse in Care inquiry found the Overseeing Shepherd and senior leaders at fault for failing to prevent abuse and protect survivors, and inappropriately handling perpetrators, allowing them to remain at Gloriavale and continue offending.
Temple was facing 27 charges of sexual offending against 10 girls over a period of more than 20 years and would face a judge-alone trial in Greymouth.
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